So you might laugh that I am about to give advice to guys, but really you should think of it as a valuable piece of insight from someone who is in fact a girl…. I know it’s shocking since I don’t usually act like one, but that’s why this advice is so good. As someone who gets mistaken for “one of the guys” after a while, I feel like I am at liberty to tell you all* to “man the hell up”. Gone are the days of the girls that will just throw themselves at your feet hoping for nothing more than the perfect little relationship that involves supporting you by donning a freakin apron and poppin out 2.5 rugrats to fill your white picket-fenced house. I have my own damn white picket fence at this point, I don’t sit around cooking cause I never really had time to learn what with the Ivy league education, world travel, competitive riding and the successful career. This means that when you use the same old tired ass line of “I’m not really ready for a relationship” (and no, if you’re reading this and think it applies to you, you weren’t the first, and knowing men you won’t be the last) we see right through that bullshit and what you’ve really done is piss us off, rather than let us down easy. Trust me every independent single woman has gotten this same line at least once before, and it’s great that you men want to be all gentlemanly and let us poor weak females down gently (because we have probably already started planning your wedding, and you know we’re just one step away from leaving a toothbrush and tampons at your place, and you don’t want to push us over the edge to the point where we open up a can of crazy on you), but we don’t really need it. What women these days need is HONESTY! Don’t try and coddle us, or play mind games (because I think we all know women play all kinds of mind games plenty well on our own), just MAN UP and say you’re not interested. In fact had you just stated that from the get-go we wouldn’t be into this situation now. Do you realize how much time and emotion this would save us both… okay, really just the women in this case, because we know you’ve already passed us off, and therefore aren’t sparing us a thought. I am a very busy girl and I don’t really like to have my world disarranged, plus I don’t really like to waste my valuable time or thoughts on someone who knew from day one that he wasn’t interested. Nothing makes me angrier in this world than the doubts this shit brings on (usually ranging from anything to everything, but usually hitting on “Does he think I’m ugly/fat/just generally heinous?”, “Did I say something stupid/unladylike/dumb?”)… making me doubt how awesome I really am. I know I should never let someone else affect how I think about myself, but hell, let’s just tell it like it is… a rejection… just like if a job didn’t want you, or a school didn’t accept you… only this is a rejection of you as a person. My only New Year’s resolution to myself this year was to never let anyone make me doubt my own awesomeness… because I am kind of a big deal.
And I know this next bit will come as a shocker, but not every girl wants/ is ready for a “relationship”. More often than not I piss off guys because I’m the one who’s not ready to commit. I’m way too busy to be tied down to you… I could maybe squeeze you in a couple nights between work, travel and my overbooked social calendar. I hate to say it boys, but roles are starting to shift. Women are no longer needing men to fill these empty voids in their lives… granted it would be nice to have a companion, and the physical stuff is always important, but I’m the TFP (Total Fuckin Package) on my own… without you… and if you can’t handle that you’re clearly not man enough for me.
* The above blog is really meant for guys I’ve known, guys I’ve yet to meet, and friends that should know this. If you feel like it pertains to you in an individual way I didn’t really mean it that way, but maybe you should take a step back cause it looks like you’ve got a guilty conscience.
My rant is now over… writing is very cathartic for me and I just had to get it out… now we’ll see how long I keep it up there before I start to wonder if I sound too crazy.
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