So I keep trying to blog and every time I start something gets in my way. So of course why wouldn’t I go ahead and blog when I’m supposed to be doing any number of other things since I’m heading home tomorrow and of course I’ve yet to pack. So here’s my quick update:
- Clearly I decided to stay in ATL rather than take any of the job offers back in Beantown… have no fear peeps, I’ll make it back up north soon enough, and until then you can very well get your asses down here to party in the Dirty Dirty
- I’m back to competing with my Morgans… this time it’s Suki’s baby Ty that we’ve raised from a baby (in fact I got to hold the bag when he was still just a frozen sperm… grosse). They finally let me show as a lady… I know, I’m as shocked as you (there are some picks of me in my suit, and yes I’m supposed to look a little like a man, I mean more than normal that is). It’s tricky though cause I have to keep flying up to New England every few weeks, showing up, riding, drinking heavily, showing with a hangover, repeat, fly back to ATL and head straight to work…
- I’m working on some sweet shit at work from the BeltLine to a giant resort town in ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = “urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags” />Egypt (but I can’t tell you about it cause I’d have to kill you)… I’m kind of a big deal
- I’ve encountered a series of ‘interesting’ men, and when I say interesting I mean that I seem to meet guys that are a caricature of what a real person is like. It’s been everything from a guy that seriously lives in a bus that runs on corn oil, to a guy we fondly refer to as Eurodouche (the man sported the same pair of corduroys every day during the summer, wacky Belgian), and the most recent was this one guy I finally gave into and went out with purely based on his persistence… I should have realized it would be a mistake when we met at an ugly sweater party and I was dressed in a tree skirt (and no I don’t mean a skirt that had xmas trees, I mean I wore the thing that goes around the base to your xmas tree… I actually heard someone voice their shock that I would own such an ugly xmas poncho… are you kidding me, is there such a thing as an awesome xmas poncho?), anyway my ‘casually dressed’ date showed up in a silver blazer, a button down shirt with white collar and cuffs, plus cufflinks (no man under the age of 40, or a CEO should own cufflinks), a Rolex, and the biggest blinged out ring I’ve seen on a man or a woman (at least 50 little diamonds)… this all culminated with the fact that he forced me to get in his car to drive 10 spaces to my car just so I would be impressed with his shiny brand new Lexus (sorry buddy, your money doesn’t impress me). I’m pretty sure that I have now discovered… and inadvertently gone a date with almost every species of douche bag, this latest being the New Money Douche, First Class Douche or the Douche Upgrade (I’ll let you all choose the nickname). Anyway, have no fear, I have the feeling that I have met my douchebag quota for a lifetime, and it’s all nice guys from here.
- The last big thing is that I just bought a house. It’s a 3 bed, 2 bath on the edge of a transitional neighborhood (nice way of saying there is a man that sleeps on my porch) and an established single family neighborhood. It’s a foreclosure and little by little there are things about it that lead me to believe it was all kinds of shady… but even if I just sit on it I think I can make money based on the neighborhood. The shadiness starts with the fact that when the guy came to do the inspection and he went in the crawlspace he said that there is an entire room down there with drywall and all… of course I think we all jumped to the most logical conclusion about its use… underage Malaysian prostitutes. The other thing that seemed fishy at first glance were all the phone lines running to the back of the house, but then when you see the switchboard in the back bedroom you realize “of course, it’s a phone sex operation”. Needless to say since the house is already set up for these types of ’small businesses’ I should just continue on with the endeavor, unfortunately I don’t know any Malaysian girls, but I think I could talk dirty for a little mortgage money.
So I really do need to go to bed now, but one of my new years resolutions is to keep up better with my blogging.