Sam’s Ministrations on Life

totally random shit:

so I was leaving San Fran Coffee at around 10:30 tonight and turning onto Ponce at N Highland. I glance up and notice some people are crossing the street, and as I start to look the other way I have to do a double-take. Why? well, because there were about 100 Santas crossing the street. as if this was not odd enough these santas just happened to be gay santas… some were dressed more naughty than nice if you know what I mean, and they were waving at the cars passing by. if only I had my camera at that moment. so the moral of this story is ‘Always carry your camera cause you never know when you’ll see 100 santas in chaps and beards’

real quick funny story brought to you by my friendly southern swamp colleague. I’m telling this story but put the most southern accent you could possibly imagine on it to get the full effect:
“so me and my sister when we were growin’ up had two hamsters, and one day her hamster bit my hamster. it got al’ infected ‘n stuff, so o’ course I had to do what I always did when an animal was wounded in the house… I rubbed some a that there anti-bacterial salve on it. it was startin’ to come round when my mama called me in ta her room and says to me … “now mickey, that there hamster a yurs is prolly gonna go upta hamster heavin soon, and there aint nothin you can do bout it” right then and there we here this huge WHACK outside. me and my ma run outside and there’s my pa, and what he’s gone and done is taken my hamster and throwed it up against the side a the house. my ma is horrified and she says “now pat, what you gone and done” and my pa answers “well, ya told me ta take care a it, and I certainly aint gonna waste no bullet on a little hamster””
I laughed my ass off at that one, I can’t make this stuff up.

So, my little update:

Friday night was the office christmas party… which I was in charge of as one of the social committee co-chairs… man how do I seem to sign myself up for this shit all the time. Anyways it was thoroughly interesting as most office events involving an all night open, top-shelf bar can be. Everyone thought I was joking when I left work early, but this girl takes a long time to go from caterpillar to beautiful butterfly. Okay, I’m exaggerating, I went home and took a disco nap… which ended up being a good thing cause I stayed out until about 5 in the am. Apparently the pep time paid of as one of my associates, who is socially awkward to the point of shall I dare say autism introduced me to his wife by saying, “Uh, this is Sam, she doesn’t usually look this good… oh wait, that didn’t come out right… what I meant to say was that she doesn’t usually dress this nice at work… oh wait, that still didn’t come out right.” Anyway, let’s just say I looked smokin hot as usual, not that that’s a surprise. Being one of the co-hosts was excellent as the staff was super attentive… this actually became a problem once I realized that they were very nicely refilling my appletini glass without my knowledge. Rather than having a potentially embarrassing moment of me lip-synching Bette Midler’s Wind Beneath My Wings I cut myself off at two drinks… I think. So of course of all the people in the world you want to be dead sober when you are drunk… yeah, it’s probably not me because I just think that shit is hysterical. I got to see one friend bite another, another unknowingly pee on a neighborhood sculpture, and a another fall dead asleep in the middle of a loud club while my friend carried on a twenty minute monologue ‘with him’. Although I must say I am rather disappointed in myself usually I am quick enough to also document these embarrassing moments in picture form. Oh well, they will just be snapshots in my mind to get me through the days in the nursing home.

On a total opposite note has anyone seen that show on TBS called My Boys. I don’t even need to write a blog anymore cause that freakin thing is my life. A chic who works in a male dominated field, with a bunch of dude friends who give her bad dating advice over poker games. At least I have girl friends… enough to even make a girl’s night. Of course it is totally cliché and all we do is put on face masks, paint our nails in skimpy lingerie and have pillow fights… gosh, that reminds me I need to pick up some more down pillows for this week.