That’s what I am right now. For some unknown reason I am just way too fidgety right now. Coffee? Lack of exercise? Too much sugar? Too little sex? The nagging notion that my apartment is quickly resembling the black hole? Your guess is as good as mine. So instead you get to read me spouting my ideas on the world.
1. People’s myspace top 8 fascinate me. It seems inevitable that whenever I get those random ass requests from guys on myspace you go to their page and their top 8 are always the most scantily clad sorority/stripper girls… maybe they threw in one male friend so that girls wouldn’t get the wrong impression. Too late. then there are the people that still have Tom as their number 1 spot… this also means that their top 8 means nothing, because they were too lazy to take off the IT guy, so their top are really just the first eight people they picked as friends. I won’t even get into the people that have actors/actresses/bands in their top eight. I would have Tom Brady (NE quarterback) in my top 8, but I grew suspicious when all of his friends were Asian 19 year olds. Top 8s always make me very anxious too, because it is the outwrite statement of who you consider your closest friends… or who you bullied into your top 8 (Derek). You don’t want to rank anyone too high that hasn’t ranked you that high… or worse, not at all. My top 8 was composed with the following in mind:
I had too many girls at first, and it looked like I was taking on some Wellesley ways in my desperation and swinging towards the lesbian side of things. Thereby the addition of Derek and John… even with the fro he’s still a straight guy and not related
For a while I had a friend that is on myspace through the character of a finger puppet… but that just made me look weird, like I was missing a dungeons and dragons party
I put the people who post the most
My best friend is second, because although I know she’s too lazy to ever post, it is requisite that she be in the top row… if only she would even get the momentum up to read this to know she is required to do as such… crappy friend, good thing I’ve known her since age 5
Rankings loosely follow the length of time I’ve known you
I don’t put relatives in my top 8, because they are family, and I therefore don’t have to waist precious space on them
In general no one that is cuter than me… although I am not holding to that too well, and so therefore anyone with a cuter picture than me who’s in my top 8 take notice because you will soon be forced to change it to a less attractive photo… that means you Megan, Lauren, Julia… but thanks Allison the snorkel is a nice touch.
2. A study came out today saying that Atlanta was voted the most courteous drivers in the country, and Miami was the worst. What? I take serious offense to that. Bostonians are clearly the worst drivers… okay, maybe we are in fact the best, but certainly the most aggressive. They don’t call us Massholes for nothing. Rock on New Englanders.
3. My use of the term bitch. So I often use the alternate form of the word bitch to refer to someone’s underling. As in “Since I am Liz’s bitch I have to run these copies.” We have a fairly loose office and I would say not overly PC. The term bitch gets used quite frequently. That is until someone complained that it was derogatory… not because he took offense to the word, but because he didn’t feel it was his place to do woman’s work like collating. As reference I was not the one who he was taking offense to. Now that I heard it through the pipeline though I have tried not to use it anymore… which just made me realize how much I use it and how many people I think are other people’s bitches. So from now on I shall switch to the more PC term of serf. It sounds a lot less cool, and may require some history references, but won’t get me in trouble. So,
You all is my SERFS! or
Man, he really made you his serf didn’t he, soon you’ll have to pick up his dry cleaning too.
Nope, just doesn’t quite work… suggestions are appreciated.