Cataract shades and hazard lights
Friday: Who knew that header would get anyone interested. Guess you have a thing for the elderly or something. So anyway, today was just not really my day. I left work for a lunchtime appointment with my new eye doctor as I am in desperate need of contacts.
Side note: As much as guys say they have all these fantasies about the hot librarian with the glasses I find I get a lot more attention sans frames. This means that usually when I go out I feel the need to pop a couple plastic slivers into my eyes as the final touch. Back to the topic, I’m pulling into the garage and I can faintly hear this woman yelling something. Being as I am in the big city, and am quite familiar with crazies yelling things out I just chose to ignore what was happening. I park my car and head for the lobby when this woman runs up to tell me that I have no brake lights and that she almost ran into me on Peachtree. This is concerning on several levels, the least of which being that I have no clue how long I’ve been without brake lights. It’s not like I’m just going up to people on the street going… “Heh, check out those brake light.” or “ Buddy, yeah you, does my rear end look okay to you.” This is not the sort of attention I want and I therefore do not actively seek it out.
Well, there wasn’t much I could do about it at the moment so I just said screw it and went to my appointment. The whole thing was very high-tech and cool… they even mapped the surface of my cornea like it was GIS layers or something. Right after putting a bunch of drops in my eyes the assistant asks me… “So, do you need to like, go back to work and do any reading or up close work?” What? You couldn’t have asked me sooner. I would also like to know who has jobs in this day and age that don’t require you to see anything up close. The only one that pops to mind is the guy that has the orange lights to help park the planes. Back to the point I ask, “Why?” Her response is “Well, I just dilated your pupils and they will be light sensitive and give you trouble up close for the next 3-4 hours.” Sure, I didn’t really have any work I needed to get done. Thanks for asking.
So, they give me these crazy ass temporary ‘sunglasses’. Now, I use that term loosely as they were really just a piece of plastic that I was supposed to stick between my face and my glasses. Of course any of you who have seen my glasses know they are just little frames, but these were clearly meant for those big ass cataract type glasses. So here’s me driving down the busiest street in the ATL with my flashers on and these totally awesome shades. I might as well have had a big neon sign flashing over my car that says ‘Look at the crazy girl driving the broke-ass car.’ My biggest concern was not so much everyone staring at me out of their cars, it was the fear that I would also get pulled over for looking crazy, then he’d make me take off my sunglasses, take one look at my fully dilated pupils and think I was some kind of crack addict too. Luckily I made it safely to Saturn and then had to wait for two hours for a damn switch to be replaced on my car. Normally I don’t mind waiting either, but in this case I couldn’t read my book (no close vision), and I couldn’t walk to the gas station oasis just across the parking lot to get a coffee, food, anything. It was only a few rows away, but I’d taken off the glasses and left them in the car and crossing the parking lot was like crossing the damn Sahara. Or like when you were a kid at the grocery store and you could only step on the white tiles because the black tiles were crocodile/shark infested. I hope that wasn’t just me anyway, but maybe it was since only children have to amuse themselves however they can.
Sunday: So what did I do the rest of the weekend? Well, for all of you who were concerned, I didn’t mope around my apartment and get drunk just because my ex-fiancé got married on Saturday. Not that I did anything terribly cool though, but I enjoyed my relaxing weekend of nothing. Let’s see I watched too many movies. Cocktail… classic chick flic with hot guy… this is of course pre-weird Tom Cruise. Maybe I’ll head down to the islands again… not that I didn’t just come back… but apparently I was supposed to go hang out by the bar and hunt for bartenders. Then I’ll admit I’m the lamest person on earth because I watched Pride and Prejudice at about midnight while polishing off a bottle of Lambic (raspberry beer), I’m not an alcoholic, and this was a special exception. The creepy part is that I got up and watched it again the next morning. Hah, I’m a sucker for romantic movies that make me feel bad about my love life. Watched marathons of Hogan Knows Best and the Ultimate Coyote Ugly Search (damn, had I known they were hiring…) I went riding… very nice stress break and a chance to be around my horsy Regina, who is like my little piece of home since I’ve owned her since I was 11. That’s what sucks about being so far from home/ old friends/ family because then when you really need it there is no one around to hug you… at least not one that wont try to bite you or sneeze on you because you didn’t pack enough carrots. I read three books… none worth mentioning and all along the same vein of making me feel bad about my love life. Looked at my messy apartment and did nothing about it. I actually worked out too, it’s part of my new Summer of Sam program I’m on… I’ll get to that in another blog at some point. Anyway, I’m working out at home now on the days I don’t ride, but I’m not sweating to the oldies or anything. Mixed in with normal Pilates I’ve started alternating belly dancing DVDs and Carmen Electra’s Striptease aerobics. I don’t know if it’s really toning, but it’s a good form of cardio, and I think my neighbors are getting a good show out of it. Hmm, maybe if landscape doesn’t pay me enough I’ll turn to the pole…