I would not hit on a woman using the line “Um, heh, I just got hit on by a dude, and so when that happens I feel the need to double-check my sexual choices by approaching a woman and talking to her… yah know, just to be sure.” Gee, thanks, you really know how to make a girl feel special, basically all I needed was the right make-up of chromosomes and bingo you are allowed to keep you man certificate.
I would not hit on women when I was so drunk I couldn’t coordinate my hand-eye movement. Spilling an entire vodka and tonic… although clear… on a girl just doesn’t turn her on the way you might think. Add any other combo of juice, soda, or other dark colored liquid that will screw with her outfit and you can pretty much cross her off your list.
I would not ask questions when first meeting her that include… politics, religion, ex-boyfriends or any other controversial topics you might not like the answer to. This goes vice versa… I am not keen on hearing about how you had an epiphany in the shower when you were 19 and have since found your place with god. This includes any beliefs you made hold that the implicit reason God made cigars was for you to smoke them. Listen buddy, I don’t think you are nearly as important as you think, God is very busy, and as far as I can tell he certainly doesn’t care to see you naked, even if he made you in his form.
I would not underestimate the high-level of sarcasm with which a person can make it in their daily life. If they warn you ahead of time that they have a very ironic and sarcastic sense of humor maybe you should believe them… because I’m not rocking you to sleep if I hurt your feelings.
This is just a list of most recent occurrences to me and friends. I’m sure I can come up with more. I must also add that there have been a large number of very sweet guys doing sweet things lately, but frankly that just isn’t funny, and anyway I prefer to keep those moments private.